I never dreamt that the day someone asked me to “write my story” that this would be it. I don’t know what it would be if someone had ever asked before. Honestly, I always thought I’d be on the other end of the adoption process. I’ve always wanted to have children of my own, just not at this time in my life.
It all started with a string of bad decisions. I had a chance to live in a great house, rent free, as long as I followed the rules. One of those rules was that I not bring people into the house to live. Understandable rule; the owners of the house wanted to protect their home. But I met this guy. He wasn’t your average Joe, and I figured, “Who would know??” So I let this virtual stranger move in with me. That’s when everything changed.
I lost my job because I really stopped caring about everything but him. I started lying to my family about him living with me. One day the owners of the house called to ask me to leave. I had broken the rules that we’d agreed upon. Hindsight is 20/20.
With no job, no money, and no help from him, I reluctantly moved into my mom’s house. I was so concerned that she would not allow me to continue seeing him that I couldn’t see she was only trying to help me.
Over the next few months I got a new job that I really liked and had fun doing. I still was able to see Mr. Wonderful and did all the time. As a matter of fact, I spent more than half my time with him going out, partying, drinking, and having fun.
It came time for me to start my period one month. The time came and went and I freaked out. I was just getting back on track! So I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, even though I always said, “I’d take care of it,” if I got pregnant. But here I had just started this job, I didn’t have insurance, and I wasn’t even close to becoming eligible for it. I didn’t have the money to pay out-of-pocket to go to the doctor, so I just let it go, hoping that my “little problem” would go away if I forgot about it.
Well, it wasn’t going away. I had to do something before it was too late. So Theron and I made an appointment with the doctor at the clinic to make sure I was doing well with the pregnancy. He was trying to be supportive, but he didn’t hesitate to tell me how much he wanted me to abort the baby.
After many prayers and conversations with trusted friends, I felt that I should abort the baby. I went to the doctor’s office again (by myself this time) and really thought about what I was going to do. I cried and prayed for a long time in the parking lot. I came to the conclusion that I could not go through with it. It just didn’t feel like the right thing for me.
There I was, 20 years old, pregnant, scared, and alone. Theron tried to be there, but he had things of his own going on. He was planning on going back to New Orleans to be with his first son. I was in a place in my life that I wasn’t too upset about him wanting to leave. I was almost in denial about the whole thing. I knew I was pregnant and that I had to do something soon, but I needed help.
The fact that I hadn’t told my mom yet was very hard on me. I started to act differently toward her, not being myself when she was around. She knew there was something going on. Finally, by the time I was about 3-1/2 months pregnant, she asked me. She had noticed that I wasn’t having periods and I had been getting sick to my stomach from everything I ate.
Though she wasn’t very happy with me, she was being supportive. After all, she knew what she went through when she was pregnant and scared. She asked me what my plan was for this baby.
I had thought about keeping the baby. I decided it would be a bad idea. Not because I didn’t want to be a mother, but I didn’t want to be a mother right then. So I thought about adoption. I thought about all those families out there without children. I thought about all those women that couldn’t have children of their own. It was right then that I made up my mind.
With my decision made, I now needed to take the next course of action. Neither my mom nor I knew what that was. I had been talking to people at work and other friends. A woman approached me about friends of hers that wanted to adopt. I spoke with them on the telephone, but it just didn’t feel right. I spoke with my mom about it and we decided to look for help. Doing an adoption without help from people that knew what they were doing made me feel like I was giving away a kitten. I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t right.
My mom and I looked in the phone book for an adoption agency. After calling a few places, we made an appointment to meet with Billye at Adoption Assistance Agency. After hearing about the whole process and how they work, I decided that this was the right thing for me and the baby.
I signed up and the process began. I met Penny, and I started looking for the family this baby deserved. Looking through the portfolios and learning about the people in the photos, I chose a family that had already been through the process of adoption. They were the right family, and I am happy that I could give them the addition to their family that they’ve been waiting for. I am happy that I have had the options open to me that I have.
My friends and family have been very supportive of my decision. Some friends still think I’ll change my mind, but I know in my heart that I won’t have any regrets about this. I am very grateful that my mom is here for me to tell me about her adoption experience, to help me cope with all the emotions I’m feeling, and what to expect.
Theron is still in my life, but only by phone. He is not as happy about adoption as I am, but he knows that it is the best thing for the baby, too.